


Chronicals of a Phantom Thief: Life in Smash

by CloudedSkies_OpenEyes



Category: Persona 5, Super Smash Brothers
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Tags will update as needed, all major arcana from persona series will be featured, because i like it better, because i like writing him and Arsene, i also use kurusu akira, joker is primary character here, relationship tags will be updated as they get featured, rosalina is ultimate mom, there's no way i'm listing every single smash character on the roster, they'll all show up eventually, will feature smash character confidants over time, will mostly be drabbles and short stories
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-09 21:27:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19484374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudedSkies_OpenEyes/pseuds/CloudedSkies_OpenEyes
Summary: As if his life in his home world wasn't filled with enough shenanigans, Akira Kurusu aka Joker is finding even more shenanigans in Master Hand's world of Smash. Does he regret accepting the invitation? Not really, but some prior warning of what to expect would have been nice.akaA collection of short stories and drabbles in Super Smash Brothers Ultimate, primarily from Joker's perspective.





	1. Invitation to Steal, Invitation to SMASH! Welcome, Joker!

**Author's Note:**

> \- This collection started the moment Joker was announced for Ultimate as DLC. I was hesitant to post it since the idea has been done several times by much better writers, but I've gotten some encouragement from my roommate and her girlfriend to give it try anyway.
> 
> \- I love having Arsene call Akira/Joker various French pet names. I will provide translations in the chapter notes whenever they pop up.
> 
> \- I plan to have Akira develop Confidants among the Smashers, one for every major Arcana that has been featured in the Persona series so far. Yes, including Jester, Hunger, Consultant, Aeon, World, Universe, and Faith. It gives me more options that way. XP
> 
> \- I will add relationships to the tags as they feature, but one I do plan on developing is m!Robin/Joker...because a certain somebody got me addicted to the adorableness of the pairing with their own fic. Shenanigans in Smash Mansion by ghastly7. Go read that series and it's side stories, it is AMAZING. (Also, one of the main reasons I was hesitant to post, because it's intimidating to try an idea that ghastly7 has done so well.)
> 
> \- As for names, I use Akira Kurusu for Joker, Robin for m!Robin, Reflet for f!Robin, Corrin for m!Corrin, Kamui for f!Corrin, and Erdrick, Solo, Shujinkou, and Luminary for the Dragon Quest heroes. One, it's easier for me to keep track of them that way. And two, those are just my favorite names for them.
> 
> \- On the subject of Fire Emblem characters, Marth, Roy, Ike, Chrom, and Kamui are from the same version of the Fire Emblem universe. Lucina and Reflet are from a separate version of the same universe, and Robin and Corrin are from a third version of the same universe. It was the only way for me to account for the various relationships I'm going to feature.
> 
> \- If I think of anything else to add, I'll update this at a later time.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, you know that theory of how Joker stole his invitation to Smash (possibly from Waluigi) that Nintendo America confirmed? And yet, Morgana in the reveal trailer explicitly says that they had ‘been _invited_ , invited to steal the greatest treasure of all’? Well, what if it genuinely was both? Here’s my little take on what happened.

Akira Kurusu hadn’t known what to make of the situation as Caroline and Justine literally yanked him aside when he’d been departing Iwai’s shop after selling some of the most recent loot acquired in Sae Niijima’s palace. He’d been expecting a bit of downtime, especially since the Thieves had managed to secure the Treasure route within three days this time and they were waiting until almost the end of the deadline to send the needed calling card. He _hadn’t_ expected the twins to yank him and Morgana through the Velvet Room entrance only to then drag him straight back out to show they had transported the pair to Mementos.

Thankfully, his disorientation hadn’t prevented the switch to his thief garb, nor prevented Arséne from immediately appearing in his defense with ruffled feathers.

“What is the meaning of this, wardens? Such actions could have drawn very unwanted attention.”

Justine held up one hand, her expression actually placating for once. “Calm yourself, Gentleman Thief, we ensured no undue attention would be drawn by our actions. And we have brought your wielder here for something quite important.”

“I’ll say its important! This is super huge! A once in a hundred lifetimes opportunity!” Caroline butted in, her tone practically manic with excitement.

Tilting his head in curiosity, Joker sent the pair a look of question, so Justine obliged in explaining.

“I assume, given the apparent fondness humans hold for their video games, that you have heard of the Smash Brothers fighting games?” Upon receiving a nod, Justine continued. “What is not known, thanks to the ignorance of the Metaverse and other such realms, is that Smash Brothers is one of many worlds that actually exist.”

Joker’s jaw dropped, he simply couldn’t help it. “It…are you saying that all of those characters, that game, is real?”

“That’s right, Inmate! In fact, the ruler of the Smash world, Master Hand, is well known to everyone from the Velvet Room!” Caroline answered, clearly enjoying his shock. “And considering he’s the one who personally invites fighters and others to the Smash, you can bet that every single fighter, and the worlds they come from are just as real as you and yours. They’re just very far away.”

“But…then how can they…?”

“The Sea of the Human Souls, or rather, the Sea of Souls, is a vast thing, Inmate. It connects to all worlds and realities, and thus is an endless well of possibility. It is not unusual for it to influence and inspire those who use their gifts to entertain others,” Justine explained, the faintest smile gracing her face as pure awe lit up Joker’s eyes. “But putting that aside, what is important for you to know is that Master Hand wishes to extend an invitation to this world, and to you specifically.”

The quieter twin held up a crisp white envelope, and Joker’s gaze was immediately drawn to the infamous red wax seal holding it closed. He only distantly heard Mona absolutely losing his mind with excitement, his own thoughts a little too loud to really acknowledge his friend. It was Arséne that brought him out of his thoughts when the Persona dipped slightly to set a hand on his upper back.

“You say he wishes to invite us…as if something is holding him back from doing so.”

“Ah, not holding back per say,” Justine began, her smile turning a tad mischievous. “More he wished to make a request of your wielder along with offering the invitation. We have decided to use that request as a test to see if you are genuinely ready to accept such an honor, and Master Hand agreed.”

That made Joker straighten up with narrowed, thoughtful eyes. The last major test the twins had given him involved battling them; which he, admittedly, just barely managed to pass through sheer determination and the effective support of Oracle, considering his team had been knocked out within ten rounds. “Another test?”

Caroline’s grin was almost bloodthirsty. “It won’t be direct, lengthy combat like last time. As fun as that was, we know how strong you are now. Nope, this is going to be a test of the rest of your abilities as a Thief and Trickster. An infiltration.”

A gleam of interest, even excitement appeared in Joker’s eyes and Caroline actually giggled. “Listen up, Inmate! That envelope will explain the details of why Master Hand wanted the favor in the first place, but here is what your test will involve. You will be infiltrating an artificial palace within the Metaverse to obtain an unopened official invitation to Smash. The one acting the role of palace ruler is another potential Smash candidate that has been trying to force his way into the roster for quite some time.”

Before Joker could ask, Justine took up the explanation. “This candidate is known as Waluigi, and he has been attempting and failing to gain a permanent spot in the main roster through deception, infiltration, and even kidnapping many times over the years. Waluigi has been transported to the palace with an unopened invitation, with the instructions that if he can both protect the invitation and not open it for a week, then he will be granted a roster spot. Thus, you have one week to navigate through the palace and steal the invitation.”

Brow furrowing as his mind immediately latched onto a few immediate concerns, Joker asked for clarification. “So I have a week to locate the palace, navigate to the invitation, send a calling card, and–”

Justine held up a hand to stop him. “Ah, that is not correct. You will not need to worry about locating the palace. We will transport you to and from the outskirts of the palace. Simply come see us here in Mementos.”

“And don’t worry about the calling card part. The invitation’s already there, so you don’t need to make a treasure manifest,” Caroline added. “This is just pure infiltration. But!” Her grin came back full force. “We are placing two restrictions on you to make up for those missing steps.”

“First, you will only be allowed to spend the equivalent of one hour of reality time within the palace per day. In Metaverse time, that will be around three hours. The Gentleman Thief will keep track for you and we will pull you from where ever you are when that time expires.” Joker glanced up at Arséne at Justine’s words, and the Persona nodded to confirm that he could track the time without issue. “And finally, this will be a mostly solo endeavor for you. You may only have the services of a single navigator, and once you have chosen, you may not tell the rest of your team what is going on until you have succeed in stealing the invitation.”

Blinking in surprise, Joker automatically asked, “I will be infiltrating an entire palace with only a navigator?”

“Yep!”

“Indeed. This should be an apt test of your skills as a Thief.” Justine’s eyes narrowed sternly. “This opportunity is rare and highly coveted. It also represents a possibility that other current and future Persona wielders may receive invitations. Thus, we need to be certain you are prepared to accept the honor of being this world’s representative.”

Caroline joined in the lecture as well, flicking her baton at him with menace. “You’ll get the chance to learn a lot and make more bonds in Smash. If you squander this opportunity by screwing up this test or getting thrown out while in Master Hand’s world, you’ll be in for a lifetime of pain, Inmate!”

Having it put that way made this task very daunting, but Joker wasn’t one to turn down a challenge from his Strength Confidant. So, he gave them a nod and smile. “I understand. I should go prepare.”

“Come back tomorrow afternoon with your navigator, and we’ll get this test started, Inmate,” Caroline replied in approval.

“Remember, one week for this test, and you may not tell anyone but your navigator what is going on,” Justine reminded, a smile returning to her face.

“I won’t disappoint you.”

…-…-…

“So you’re picking Futaba as your navigator?”

“Of course. She’ll be thrilled at the opportunity…and she’ll delight in having a secret she can enjoy.”

“Huh. Guess that means I need to spend a week with one of the others so I don’t compromise your test.”

“I’m sure Haru will be happy to have you.”

“Of course! And you make sure you ace this! Those girls are right that this is a rare opportunity, so we can’t let it pass us by!”

“I’ll leave an impression no one will forget. Promise.”

…-…-…

“ _EEEEHHHHHHH_?!?!”

Akira hid a smile and choked down a laugh at Futaba’s reaction, grey eyes glittering as he took in his pseudo little sister’s dropped jaw and flailing arms.

“Smash is _real?!_ Aki, do you know what this means?!”

“Oh?”

“Kirby is _real_! _POKEMON_ IS REAL!!!”

Akira was silent for a beat as that sunk into his mind, then he joined Futaba in squealing so loudly that Sojiro will later mention hearing them all the way at LeBlanc.

“Give me your phone! I need to trick out your picture and video apps so you can document _everything_ there! And you’re going to need a mega- _mega-ton_ more memory space!”

“Maybe I should get a separate phone just for that?”

“You’re right! That’ll maximize space once I add as much memory as I can to it!”

…-…-…

Joker was, admittedly, a little disappointed to see the palace was a castle. Granted, it was clearly modeled after Peach’s Castle from the Mario games, but still. He’d had _more_ than enough of sneaking around a castle when Kamoshida was a palace ruler.

“What’s with that face? Waluigi’s from a world with princesses, _of course_ the palace would be a castle,” Caroline snarked at him, Oracle actually giggling at the comment.

“Kamoshida’s palace was a castle too. The memory isn’t a good one.”

“Do not worry. While there are Shadows and puzzles, you will not encounter any…unpleasant manifestations of Waluigi’s consciousness here. This is an artificial palace Master Hand created, not Waluigi’s personal palace,” Justine assured him, making Joker relax a bit.

“Thank you, Justine. Let’s get started, Oracle.”

“You’ve got it, Joker! Come, Prometheus!”

…-…-…

Four days. It took four days of navigating, fighting Shadows disguised as Goombas and Big Boos with the same kind of tied mask Mona had. The Palace only had three floors, but to access each floor, Joker had needed to obtain three Purple Stars per floor that formed into keys, unlocking the doors that led to the next floor up. The stars were being held in pocket spaces within the palace, accessed through portraits like something straight out of Super Mario 64, and the tasks to get the stars had ranged from puzzles to mini-boss fights. The one exception had been a star on the second floor held by a Piranha Plant-disguised Shadow, which had given Joker the star in exchange for essentially playing therapist while the plant complained about how none of the bad guys or good guys of Mario’s world had any respect for it and the other goon-type creatures.

Now Joker stood hidden in the shadows of a balcony overlooking the throne room, watching as Waluigi paced around the invitation complaining out loud about everything from the weather to Master Hand’s demand that he couldn’t open the invitation for a week.

[What do you think, Joker? You could go ahead and snatch it now and then make a break for it.]

Joker considered Oracle’s suggestion, but ultimately discarded the idea as he recalled the letter Justine had given him from Master Hand. Master Hand had agreed to this test for his favor as a way to teach Waluigi a few lessons, one of which was patience. That lesson was why there was a week long time limit, to see if Waluigi could have the discipline and patience to follow instructions. And considering Joker had just spent his time limit for the day traversing the third floor to get to this point, he decided he needed to apply the same lesson right now for his own safety.

[No. We have the route secured, and I’ve spent a fair amount of energy getting here today. We’ll come back tomorrow to finish this with a good night’s sleep.]

[Got it! Back to the Safe Room then!]

…-…-…

“It seems you are ready for the final stretch, Inmate.” Justine was smiling warmly. “I admit to being impressed. You conquered the palace itself in short order, even without your primary backup. It says much about your skills and the aptitude of your navigator.”

Oracle chittered a bit at the praise, but there was no mistaking her grin. Joker himself had a look of satisfaction on his face. “Thank you, Justine. We’ll be sure to earn that praise by stealing the invitation this trip.”

“You better! We’ll take you back to Mementos once you come back, so be quick about it!” Caroline ordered, earning a nod from the leader of the Phantom Thieves.

“It’s showtime!”

…-…-…

Joker couldn’t help the smirk on his face when he flipped off the balcony to land perfectly behind the pedestal right as Waluigi turned away during his pacing. The smirk was especially sharp when the purple plumber turned back to see him and stopped to stare with his jaw on the floor.

“I believe you’ve been holding on to this for me.” Within a split second, Joker had snitched the invitation up, tucking it in his coat and flicking a two-finger salute cheekily. “Much obliged, Waluigi. Oh, and try to have a little more patience. Master Hand will invite you in time, I’m sure.”

“W…WAH! Stop-a him! GUARDS!!”

Palace security instantly shot to max, all lighting turning red and alarms blaring loudly. Joker chuckled in time with Arséne as a platoon of Goombas waddled in. _“It would seem the time to exit stage right is upon us,_ mon petit voleur _.”_

“Let’s fly, Arséne!”

It was a new thrill, the feeling of Arséne gracing him with use of his wings, midnight feathers flaring in time with the flex of his muscles as he soared back up to the balcony before the Goombas got close. Throwing another smirk over his shoulder as Waluigi practically gurgled in shock and rage, Joker sped out of the throne room on light feet with Oracle’s laughing instructions guiding him.

[You know the drill, you extra little bastard. Down the hall and duck left through the crawl space.]

[I could go find an outdoor balcony to go triple flipping off of. Make my exit even more dramatic.]

[Like I said. EXTRA. LITTLE. BASTARD. I’m so telling Queen when we’re done here.]

[I’ll have plenty of her favorite coffee on hand so she doesn’t run me over with Anat. It’ll go with all the snacks I’m going to have to bribe the others with for doing an infiltration without them.]

He didn’t find an outdoor balcony, but he did surf down the banister of the main staircase leading to the second floor.

When he reached the breach point and got outside, Oracle and the twins were there waiting with wide grins, all of them laughing as they could hear Waluigi yelling for the thief to be found.

“Time to go, Inmate. Master Hand will be by shortly to retrieve him and dissolve the palace.” Justine held a hand out for Joker to take, which he did. Beside them, Caroline had a surprisingly gentle hand on one of Oracle’s arms to guide her.

Together, the successful thieves slipped through the Velvet Room door and returned to the entrance of Mementos.

…-…-…

As promised, Akira had gathered his team with coffee and snacks, this time at Inokashira Park so any yelling wouldn’t disturb the customers at LeBlanc. Even Akechi was present, as Akira was a little leery of what consequences may come from trying to hide his attendance in Smash from the duplicitous detective. Morgana was the one to start the conversation, explaining that, due to a request from an outside source, Akira had been working on a mission for the past few days.

Ryuji was the first to speak, ironically saying what Makoto clearly was concerned about if the furrow on her brow was anything to go by. “Wait a second… You mean, he went _alone_? You went _alone_ , Akira?!”

Akira gave a sheepish smile as he toyed with a lock of his hair. “It was part of the mission.”

“What’s so important that you’d run off by yourself?” Ann’s tone was more curious than scolding, but there was a glint of warning in her eyes that implied if she didn’t like the answer, there would be hell to pay. Haru had a matching look in her eyes, though hers was more frightening due to the politely sweet smile on her face.

Futaba raised a hand cheekily. “Not entirely alone! He was allowed to have a navigator, on the condition that we kept it a secret from you all until the time was right!”

Morgana shook his head in fond exasperation at the girl’s cheek, before addressing the others with a prompting tone. “There’s only one thing the Phantom Thieves of Hearts specialize in.”

Yusuke made an understanding noise, Akechi narrowing his eyes thoughtfully as well. “He’s there to steal a treasure.” The blue-haired artist looked at Akira with anticipation, making Akira chuckle. “Have you already sent a calling card then?”

The absolute mischief in Morgana’s voice as he answered for Joker made several eyebrows raise. “We’re not the ones sending a card this time. In fact, we’ve been _invited_. Invited to steal the greatest treasure of all!”

Taking the cue, Akira held up a crisp white envelope and flipped it with a flourish to show off the wax seal on the back, even tapping it with one finger for emphasis. The exclamations from Ryuji, Ann, and shockingly Akechi were well worth the build up and the following explanation on how Smash and those associated with it were real.

…-…-…

Two days later, the thieves were once more gathered in the entrance to Mementos, getting ready to see their leader off. The twins were present, as they would be guiding Joker to the transport that would take him to Master Hand’s world. They also had information to provide them all.

“Master Hand has assured us that, regardless of how long you spend among the fighters of Smash, he can return you so that no more than an hour will have passed here. Thus, you will have plenty of time to learn and get to know everyone,” Justine assured, receiving a grateful smile from Joker.

“There are also times when he can bring visitors in, and the same time rules apply. So make a good impression, and I’m sure Master Hand will let all of us come watch you fight in person,” Caroline added, barely holding back her excitement.

 _She wants to go explore._ Joker felt a pang of some guilt at the thought, wondering. _Maybe I can invite them out around Shibuya a couple times when I get back if I can’t get a visitor pass or something soon._

“That being said, I remind you that this is a rare opportunity. Do not squander it, or we will be most disappointed,” Justine concluded, and Joker nodded.

“I remember, don’t worry.”

“Then say your good-byes and let’s get you to the transport!”

Joker obligingly turned to his team, a fond smile on his face. “It seems I’ll be back before you know it. Queen and Mona are charge while I’m gone if you guys want to get some training done. Don’t over exert yourselves, and _NO. REAPER. BAITING._ Skull.”

“Oi, why’re you singlin' _me_ out?!”

“Crow, drag him back to the Mona bus if he tries.”

“ _OI!_ ”

“I’m sure I can handle that, Joker.”

“Don’t _agree_ with him!”

Oracle hopped forward, practically dancing in her excitement as she held out a smartphone. It was the same general model as his, but clad in a shiny new red and black case displaying the iconic Smash emblem. “Prometheus and I have done all we can to give you max space on this and optimized the picture and video apps. I better see at least ten pictures with Kirby when you get back, and five of each Pokemon!”

Accepting the phone with an agreeing smile and tucking it away, Joker then held his arms open. “Group hug, leader’s orders. Then I’m off.”

Oracle was quick to wrap around his chest like a koala, making everyone else hug around her. Even Crow, much to his embarrassment as Joker motioned for Panther to drag him into the hug.

A few seconds of hugging, and then Joker carefully extracted himself, tossing a roguish grin at his team before turning back to the twins. “I’m ready.”

“This way then.”

The thieves watched as their leader strode behind the strange little twins, the trio vanishing into the shadows of the corridor trailing out to the right of the escalators they normally took to descend into Mementos.

The wardens led Joker several yards down the corridor, turning left and then right before coming to a halt beside a new train platform. And the train waiting there was much unlike the ones he’d normally seen in Mementos, this one streamlined with a rounded nose to the driver’s compartment and the metal a bright gleaming silver. The mouth of the tunnel before the train held a portal glowing a very soft white, making the train shine beautifully even in the red gloom of Mementos’ ambient light.

“You brought your invitation, correct?” Joker flicked the invitation out of his coat with a flourish in answer to Justine. “Good. Hang on to it, as you will need to present it to Master Hand when you meet him. Though I am certain he explained that in the invitation itself.”

“Now get on that train and show Smash just what Persona wielders are made of!” Joker grinned wildly at Caroline’s exclamation, dipping into sweeping bow.

“As my wardens command. See you soon.” With a flare of his coat, Joker stepped toward the doors to the nearest passenger compartment, which automatically opened at his approach.

Taking a seat, Joker waved through the window, touched as the twins actually waved back before the train started moving. Within a moment, the train went through the portal, Joker automatically closing his eyes against the flare of light and opening them once it died away. To his awe, the train was traveling through what seemed to be space on a thick mist of color rather than tracks, picking up speed toward a planet that looked similar to Earth, and yet seemed more brightly colored. The blanket of stars and cosmos was more ethereal than he’d ever seen in pictures or the planetarium.

During his observation, to Joker’s slight surprise, Arséne appeared and took the seat beside him. The teen obligingly leaned forward a bit so a midnight wing could wrap around his shoulders companionably. “It is a breath-taking view, _mon moitié_. I would almost wager that this alone is worth the acceptance of Master Hand’s invitation.”

“It is. With a welcome like this, I’m excited for what comes next.”

“As am I, _mon cher_. As am I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- And then they got shot down as Galeem decided to be a giant asshole and scattershot the whole multiverse.
> 
> \- French Translation:  
> Mon petite voleur - my little thief  
> mon moitié - my other half  
> mon cher - my dear


	2. Welcome to SMASH...For Real This Time.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the events of World of Light resolved, Joker and the other confirmed DLC Fighters can take the time to properly get to know their fellow Smashers. But first, they talk with Master Hand.

To say the past week and a half had been insanity would’ve been an understatement in Joker’s opinion. Sitting on the train to reach the world of Smash, he and Arséne had been excited for the opportunity to meet and battle so many infamous characters. That had quickly turned to confusion and fear as the world had been blanketed by searing light as they got closer, and thousands, possibly millions, of beams of light had shot out. The train’s engine room had been struck, and Arséne had wrapped around him protectively as the train went crashing down, both losing consciousness at some point.

When they had awoken, it was to a slightly battered Kirby and several other Smashers pulling the Phantom Thief out of the train wreckage. Once the situation was explained, Joker had joined the group in saving the other Smashers and taking on the god-like entities Galeem and Dharkon. Add in the fights to save those who had been reduced to Spirits controlling clones of Smashers, including his own team… All in all, not what Joker had been expecting for his first visit to Smash.

But now, it was finally over. All Spirits and Smashers were free, the worlds had been restored to the state prior to the sudden assault from Galeem, and Joker and the other newest fighters could be officially welcomed to the permanent roster. As Joker understood it, the welcoming party was going to be massive as they were also celebrating the victory over Galeem and Dharkon.

But first, they were currently sitting in Master Hand’s enormous office at the primary Smash arena for a chat.

“NOW THAT WE ARE NO LONGER IN DANGER OF UTTER ANNIHILATION FROM WOULD-BE-GODS, ALLOW ME TO EXTEND APOLOGIES TO YOU ALL. THAT CERTAINLY WAS NOT HOW I INTENDED YOUR FIRST VISIT AS FIGHTERS TO PLAY OUT.”

“My fellow heroes and I were traveling through the portal you formed in our world at the time of Galeem’s assault and were thus overlooked,” the Luminary commented with a nod toward his three companions. “It was disorienting to be immediately thrown into a crisis, but we seem to have managed fine, so no harm done.”

The Piranha Plant flicked its leaves in a dismissive manner, easily conveying it hadn’t been bothered by what happened. Arséne mentally whispered to his wielder that the plant said it had actually been taking a nap in the mansion greenhouses at the time of the assault and assumed Galeem just didn’t know where it was.

“It’s not like we’re not used to saving the world, Polyester Man, so it’s no big deal.”

“Kazooie…” Banjo sighed at Kazooie’s typical acerbic humor, before smiling sheepishly at Master Hand. “I’m just happy everything turned out okay, and that we finally get to join up with our friends as fellow Smashers.”

Joker gave a silent, but warm smile when the hand turned toward him, though his expression became sheepish as Master Hand addressed him. “WHILE I CAN SEE YOU HOLD NO HARD FEELINGS, JOKER, I STILL WISH TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU ESPECIALLY. I UNDERSTAND YOU WERE ON THE TRAIN LINE DURING THE ASSAULT, AND WERE TRAPPED WHEN IT CRASHED.”

“I’m okay. Kirby, Isabelle, and Lucario made sure I was well taken care of until Dr. Mario was recovered and could look me over. And Arséne is always there to care for me.”

The Gentleman Thief gave a chuckle from where he hovered behind Joker’s seat, reaching a hand down to comb through the teen’s hair. “Indeed. There is nothing in any world that could stop me from watching over my charge, Master Hand. Rest assured.”

“I AM GLAD TO HEAR THAT. AND NEXT,” the hand turned back to the bear and bird pair. “I AM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG FOR YOUR INVITATION TO BECOME OFFICIAL. I HAD NOT CONSIDERED GRUNTILDA WINKYBUNION HAD SET A CURSE ON YOU BOTH DURING THE COURSE OF YOUR ADVENTURE UNDER L.O.G., AND ONCE I REALIZED IT, GETTING HIM TO ALLOW ME ACCESS TO THE WITCH TO LIFT THE CURSE WAS…A TRIAL OF ITS OWN.”

Banjo sighed heavily while Kazooie grumbled for a moment, but the bear gave a tired smile for them both. “It’s okay. We should’ve thought Grunty had something to do with it sooner. That was our fault, not yours. And L.O.G. is…well, he likes making things difficult. Like Canary Mary’s races…” The duo shuddered at that, and Joker made a mental note _not_ to ask them about that particular tidbit until they chose to bring up themselves. It seemed to be a source of trauma for them.

“STILL, I WISH IT HAD NOT TAKEN SO LONG TO CONVINCE HIM. BUT I WILL ACCEPT THAT YOU HOLD NO ILL-WILL FOR THE DELAY.” There was a sound like Master Hand was heaving a sigh before he continued speaking. “NOW, ON TO OTHER MATTERS. DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THE INFORMATION I PROVIDED IN YOUR INVITATIONS?”

“Ah, I do. You stated in our invitations,” the hero called Erdrick put forward, motioning to Solo and Shujinkou, “that we would be attending alongside a young hero from our future who was still in the midst of his journey, whereas we have completed ours. Could you clarify this?”

“YES, OF COURSE. JOKER, THIS PARTIALLY APPLIES TO YOURSELF AS WELL, SO LISTEN CLOSELY.” Master Hand emitted a sound like the clearing of a throat when Joker sat up straighter attentively. “AS A GENERAL RULE, I TRY TO SEND OUT MY INVITATIONS AT A POINT IN THE CANDIDATE’S LIFE THAT THEY ARE UNDERTAKING A PERSONAL OR LIFE-ALTERING JOURNEY. THE PURPOSE OF THIS IS TO LET THEM KNOW THEY HAVE SOMEWHERE TO GO, SOMEWHERE THEY WILL ALWAYS BE WELCOME.”

That actually warmed something in Joker’s heart, and he endeavored to examine that better when he had some solitude to think. Whatever it was, it was clear by the awed surprise on the others’ faces that they felt the same.

“HOWEVER, I DO MAKE EXCEPTIONS TO THIS AT TIMES. FOR YOU FOUR, I DECIDED TO APPROACH THE, SHALL WE PHRASE IT, _YOUNGEST_ OF YOU DURING HIS JOURNEY, AND THE REST AFTER YOUR JOURNEYS WERE COMPLETE. THIS ELIMINATED THE POSSIBILITY OF IRREVOCABLY ALTERING MAJOR EVENTS IN YOUR WORLD’S HISTORY. IT ALSO SEEMED A FAIR WAY TO ENSURE YOUR WORLD, AND THE STORIES OF ITS BELOVED HEROES, WOULD BE WELL REPRESENTED WITHIN SMASH, EVEN WHEN LUMINARY IS AWAY COMPLETING HIS JOURNEY.”

It did sound fair, but that made Joker abundantly curious as to why he alone was invited from his world. Perhaps sensing his curiosity, Master Hand turned to him. “JOKER, LIKE LUMINARY, I HAVE CONTACTED YOU DURING YOUR JOURNEY. THE REASON I ONLY INVITED YOU ALONE, RATHER THAN ALL OF THE BEST AND BRIGHTEST AMONG PERSONA WIELDERS, WAS DUE TO A COMBINATION OF A REQUEST AND THE VERY TENUOUS BALANCE OF POWERS CURRENTLY OCCURRING IN YOUR WORLD.”

“Request?” Joker latched on to that immediately, assuming likely Igor had something to do with the specification, given that Justine and Caroline had been the ones to tell him about his invitation.

Master Hand was silent for a moment, a solemn air descending on the room that made Piranha Plant, Banjo, and Kazooie squirm as it lingered. “I BELIEVE I AM RIGHT IN ASSUMING THAT YOU HAVE SENSED SOMETHING…OFF…DURING YOUR TIME IN THE VELVET ROOM?”

The menace Igor exuded and his habit of not providing any direct help. The intense feeling of _wrong_ every time he needed to make use of the horrifying execution equipment, and the whispers from some of the Personas he had possessed. The fact that he was treated like a prisoner in spite of his willingness to fight the chains of oppression that had threatened to break him from the moment he had been arrested on false charges. Joker couldn’t quite hold back a shiver, and was grateful as Arséne dipped down to wrap a comforting wing around him. “Yes.”

“RESOLVING WHAT HAS OCCURRED WITHIN THE SANCTUARY THAT IS MEANT TO AID WILDCARDS, NOT OPPRESS THEM, IS A DEEPLY ENTWINED PART OF YOUR JOURNEY, AND IT IS CLOUDED IN UNCERTAINTY. UNTIL YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED IN THAT, I _CANNOT_ DISCUSS WHO MADE THE REQUEST AND WHY.” Master Hand’s tone was wry. “EVEN I MUST FOLLOW CERTAIN RULES WHEN I WISH TO BRIDGE OTHER WORLDS WITH MY OWN. BUT IT IS MY HOPE THAT YOUR TIME HERE WILL GIVE YOU WHATEVER EXPERIENCE OR BONDS YOU MAY NEED TO COMPLETE YOUR JOURNEY, AS IT HAS FOR MANY OTHERS. AND DO REMEMBER, YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE A PLACE HERE, WHATEVER THE OUTCOME.”

That warmth from before returned, and Joker relaxed. It was annoying, upsetting, that he couldn’t ask for more details. But he could understand that it was probably for the best considering that Master Hand was making it clear that he wanted to talk about the situation, but simply _couldn’t_. “I understand, thank you.”

“YOU ARE MOST WELCOME. ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?”

Arséne’s feathers flicked idly before the Persona spoke, bringing up a point Joker had almost forgotten that he was curious about. “The twins you spoke with to extend your invitation assured us, regardless of how long we stay, you would be able to return us to our world within an hour at most from when we left it. What are the details of that?”

“THAT IS A CURTESY I EXTEND TO ALL SMASHERS AND VISITORS, SHOULD THEY WISH IT, BUT IT IS PRIMARILY FOR THOSE WHO DO ACCEPT MY INVITATIONS DURING THEIR JOURNEYS. ONE OF THE RULES I MUST FOLLOW IS THAT PARTICIPATION IN SMASH CANNOT PREVENT A CANDIDATE FROM COMPLETING THEIR JOURNEYS BACK HOME, AS MANY OF THEM HOLD THE FATE OF ENTIRE WORLDS ON THEIR SHOULDERS DURING SUCH TRIALS. SUCH MINOR TIME MANIPULATION IS MY PRIMARY TOOL FOR ADHERING TO THAT RULE.”

That last sentence sent a shiver up Joker’s spine, as he couldn’t help but wonder just how powerful Master Hand truly was that he considered _any_ aspect of time manipulation minor. It also made him wonder… “Um, this isn’t really about the invitation itself, but… I was wondering how Galeem managed to capture you? I left my world two days after completing the test I was given to retrieve my invitation, and was told you would be by to clean up the test site.”

There was something like a wince from the hand at that, and his tone was sheepish. “AH, I WAS EN ROUTE TO GIVE WALUIGI THE LECTURE I HAD PREPARED FOR HIS EXPECTED FAILURE AND COLLAPSE THE ARTIFICIAL PALACE WHEN GALEEM AMBUSHED ME. I WAS, TO MY EMBARRASSMENT, NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO MY SURROUNDINGS AS I TRAVELLED.”

There was a second of pause before Joker asked with some concern. “Then…has Waluigi been stuck in that palace this whole time?”

“…AH…”

“Nice one, Spandex.”

“ _Kazooie!_ ”

Master Hand made that throat clearing sound again, and Joker was about eighty percent positive there was a faint hint of pink discoloring the white glove. “IT WOULD SEEM I HAVE A TASK TO TAKE CARE OF. IF THERE ARE NO MORE QUESTIONS…?” Everyone shook their heads. “THEN I SHALL ESCORT YOU ALL TO THE MANSION LOBBY. THE MII PERSON STAFFING THE CALL DESK THERE WILL ENSURE YOU RECEIVE THE MANSION TOUR AND THE KEYS TO YOUR ROOMS. SHALL WE BE OFF?”

As Joker followed the hand with the others, heading for a teleport hub that would take them to the mansion, the leader of the Phantom Thieves knew he had a lot to contemplate once he got settled in his rooms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Master Hand, you done goofed.


End file.
